Setting up roadblocks to intimacy...

I'm not talking about that kind of intimacy.  I'm talking about the kind where you open your self up, the very core of your being, to another person.  It's scary, because it's a very vulnerable position.  How much easier is it to put up a false front and keep others at a safe distance?  I recently saw this segment on our local lifestyle show and thought it was definitely worth sharing. Family therapist Julie Hanks talks about the things that prevent us from letting other "step in our shoes."

Or you can read the written article as well.  Just some food for thought!

Motherhood Matters

Happy Mother's Day to all you beautiful women out there, both those who are mothers in the traditional sense and also to those who bless the lives of everyone around them with their mothering influence.

This past week I have been participating in a challenge created by our local lifestyle show Studio 5 called Motherhood Matters, which they describe as "a campaign to inspire, encourage, and remind ourselves why motherhood matters." I can always use a reminder to find the joy in motherhood rather than getting sucked into the mundane, and I have really been enjoying completing the challenge each day.

The other day the challenge was to make a list of the skills and attributes that you bring to the role of mother, and for some reason I found that very challenging. What strengths do I bring to motherhood? At first, all I could come up with were my weaknesses. I get mad a really really lot more than I should be, I'm ridiculously disorganized and forgetful, I let them watch too much tv... the list could go on and on. So before I got too bogged down in berating myself, I decided that I would commit to posting here about my positive strengths and attributes so that I have it in black and white. I haven't really started coming up with anything yet, so we'll see how it goes:

1. I am willing to admit when I'm wrong and ask my kids' forgiveness. I try really hard to own up to my part when things go amuck.
2. I tell them I love them a gazillion times a day. So far they are not old enough to be embarrassed by this.
3. I try to tell them specific reasons why I think they're great and why I'm proud of them.
4. I try to give them lots of opportunities for creativity (both in the artsy-crafty way and also just in their thinking).
5. I believe in God and Jesus Christ, and I am working hard to create an environment where their Spirit can be felt.
6. I am not "too cool" to run around and play and be silly with them. (Of course, if you knew me you'd probably say that I'm not in grave danger of being "too cool" for anything...)
7. I will never, never stop trying to be a better mom for them.

I am not trying to toot my own horn here. I know that for every one thing I get right, I probably make two giant mothering mistakes. Or miss some huge opportunity to love and nurture the way I should. I'm sure we all feel that way. And Mother's Day, for some perverse reason, frequently just makes moms feel more guilty, like we somehow don't measure up to all the praise. But this Mother's Day, please stop berating yourself for all your mothering imperfections and take a moment to appreciate your mothering strengths.  You have them, I guarantee -- otherwise, God would never have entrusted His precious children to your care.  Give yourself the gift of actually thinking about it and writing it down.  I'll bet you'll find you're a pretty awesome mom after all. :)

Happy Mother's Day!



Oh, and if you need a little encouragement, please watch this beautiful video about our true value as mothers:

The Civility Experiment -- a video

This video really touched me today -- it demonstrates so well the power that comes from getting to know someone instead of judging them by their outward appearance or what you think you know about them. I believe that if more of us (myself included) took the opportunity to really get to know the people we are judgmental about (whether it's an individual or a whole group), we'd learn that underneath the surface we are all just human beings. Imperfect, yes, but all of us having something to give and share with each other. Worth the watch!

He makes it possible...

None of us, as human beings, are perfect.  That's kinda the whole point of this blog.  But today, as we celebrate the life, Atonement, and resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ, I want to share my faith that Jesus WAS perfect, and that it is because of Him that it's okay for us not to be.  It's okay that we make mistakes and wrong choices and everything else that comes with being a human being.  HE paid the price for us, to give us the chance to learn and grow and take two steps forward and one step back.  He loves us more than we can ever understand, and He will always help us become our best selves if we choose to come to Him.  Through His power we can be forgiven for all those wrong choices and become who HE sees in us.

This Easter message touched my heart today, and I wanted to share it with you:

I wish you a blessed and joyful Easter!

Thanks for stopping by!

"Thinking Errors" -- A Video Worth Watching

I saw this segment on our local "lifestyle show" the other day, and I thought the ideas in it were really worth sharing. I especially liked the part about not assuming you know what other people are thinking about you...

Click here to see a written version of what the presenter talks about.

Just Dance!

I have never been what anyone would call graceful.  Stories of my childhood and adolescense are populated with stories of me tripping over things and being attacked by inanimate objects.  I always wanted to be a dancer, but as the chubby, uncoordinated kid that was just not in the cards.  One of my most embarrassing moments was auditioning for a music dance theater program as a high school senior and completely forgetting the choreography to the very simple dance about 8 counts in.  Still, I didn't shy away from opportunities to dance.  I went to lots of dances and parties and danced away.  I took social dance in college and loved every second of it even though I knew I didn't look as much like Ginger Rogers as I felt.  Now I go to a dance exercise class called Zumba every week and I enjoy myself hugely.  I get half the steps wrong and I know I look funny doing the ones I do get right, but you know what?  I don't care.  Sometimes I work in my dad's woodshop for hours all by myself, and you know what I do?  I crank up the music and dance like I think I belong on Broadway (or maybe a Shakira video, but I won't burden you with that image...).  I LOVE to dance.  It feels free and liberating and FUN!

I think I got this attitude from watching my sweet little sister Carissa, who had Down's Syndrome.  She loved to dance, too, and she never let any inhibition get in her way.  When the music started, she was always right there in the thick of things.  More than once I saw her get right up on stage with the band.   She could shake it with the best of them, and she always had the best time of anyone because she wasn't worried about others' judgment.

A while back, my brother Dan of Single Dad Laughing talked about his "dancing black duck" -- how he had stopped himself from dancing for years because he was so worried about what other people would think, and how he decided to get over it and just dance.  He invited all of his followers to send in clips of themselves dancing, which of course meant we all had got to be in it, too.  I showed off my awesome moves for a few seconds and then rolled my ankle really, really badly.  (It still hurts, weeks later!)  Dan asked me if he could use that in the video and I hesitated only for about half a second before I said yes.  It's not cute, but it's totally me.  And since the whole point of the dance video is enjoying dancing without worrying about how you look to others, how could I say no?

Today he finally posted the finished product.  I'm stealing his video to post here, but you should definitely go read his original post about dancing.  It applies to so many things in our lives.  What are we holding ourselves back from enjoying because of how some past experience has affected us?  Just dance, people!

True Charity -- a "Perfect" thought for today

This is one of my favorite quotes of all time, and something I strive to live by (though I can assure you I'm not perfect at it). It goes hand in hand with this beautiful talk by President Thomas S. Monson from the last General Relief Society meeting.*




*The Relief Society is the worldwide women's organization for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. President Monson is our prophet and the leader of our Church. Every 6 months there is a broadcast called "General Conference," where the leaders of the Church speak to the entire church. Every October conference there is also a General Relief Society meeting, where they speak to the women especially.